Up until this point if anyone ever asked me if I had cheated I would respond with a long winded “yea, but … ” excuse. I HATE cheating, to the point that I guess I’ve avoided admitting that I have done so myself. Well, I am done. Yes, I have cheated. However… Since this is my blog and you obviously came here to read something lasting for more than just 4 sentences I will give you the “yea, but”s. I’m going to do them justice though.

I’m going to do my best to tell them in as much of an objective way as possible. You see, “cheating” is subjective. I’m sure that more than a few of you will read this and think that I never cheated. Others will read it and say that all four of them were cheating. I am more of the ladder. So without further ado, here are the four times that I cheated. Oh, I lied, there’s more “ado”… Like I said, the stories can be long winded, I’m not going to be able to get them all out in one post. So… Here’s the first time that I cheated…

Ok kids, way back when there were these things called “dial-up”, and “AIM”. I’m not going to date myself and explain, you can Google it. Anyhoo, back in 8th grade, I think, during one of my dad’s random house parties I was secluded to the den, instant messaging TwoFor. TwoFor(a girl who I had recently met at a previous cookout) and I had been talking for a bit, it was kind of becoming obvious that she wanted me to ask her out, so I did….

And as I sent the message I lost my internet connection. So, I did what any other 14 year old would do, I rebooted the computer, walked away, and completely forgot about it. At this time the party was winding down, everyone was leaving, except for Gold who was one of my sister’s older friends. Now, my sister is 8 years younger than I am. Her older friend was the daughter of a friend of the family. And by “older” I mean that she was 13.

So… My sister, Gold, and I end up having a sleepover in the den. I put on a scary movie and Sis Immediately falls asleep. At some point Gold and I move closer, start cuddling, and making out (Calm down, I didn’t lose my virginity until the week of my 18th birthday, no kiddie porn here), over the clothes stuff, and we pass out.

I wake up the next day to find that not only had my message sent, but it had sent the night before, AND she responded with a “yes” right away… I need to back up here, I missed something… The cat and mouse game that TwoFor and I had going on was starting to get pretty frustrating by this point. We were getting upset with each other for random crap and I asked her out because she had just said something to the effect of “I’m pissed because I’m waiting for you to ask me out and you don’t get it”, gotta love when that happens. So, fast forward to now… I mean, back then, you know what I mean…

I see that she responded and all I can think is that I was making out with Gold while I was technology in a relationship. One that I kinda sorta hoped for but still wasn’t all that confident in. Nonetheless, I cheated. And balled my eyes out to my friends (The Three Musketeers Plus One (who were all hysterical)) about my first time cheating.

Ok… I’m feeling generous, I’ll give you the next one. It’s pretty short and sweet. The One and I were going through a real rough patch and living at the beach for the summer. We had a blow-up argument before I went to work. I mean, I spent the day at work trying to find a new place to stay because I planned to break it off with her that night.

On my way home my buddy, John, called me to tell me that he just so happened to be at the beach, and was throwing a party. Funny how that happens. Hmm, so my options are now: go home and either break up with The One, or go party and then go home and break up with The One.

So, I’m at the “rager”, and there’s three dudes and one chick… Some party. But, whatever, I had a beer or two. And this Romanian girl is all about finding more out about me. And she’s all about touching me, conversationally, but still. And I was all about letting it go as far as I could take it. John tells me that her and her man were just in a huge argument, just as her man storms back in. Somehow, I’m able to grab her phone and put my number into it before her quite literally drags her out of the party… Ok… Not “literally” but it was close. I never heard from her again. On my way home The One called me and told me to meet her and some of her co-workers out at the bar… We made up at the bar.

Nothing really happened with the Romanian and I, aside from what could have very well been platonic touching that I misunderstood because I was drinking. But, I had all intentions of letting it go further if she would have let me… Which, in my mind, still counts as cheating.

There you go… The first and second time that I ever cheated. Call it what you want, they happened. And I feel just as bad about these two as I do about the two that follow.


Until next time, don’t cheat.

P.S. What did you expect, a picture of me cheating? I found this during a Google search… It fits.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. gigglingfattie says:

    Aww poor baby Alphonso crying!! I wouldn’t call the first one cheating. The second is in a grey “Ross and Rachel were on a break!” area lol


    1. Haha but, there was no break


    2. gigglingfattie says:

      That’s why it’s like the grey area in the middle…you were still together, but had decided to break up, but you didn’t technically do anything, but probably would have.


    3. Oh you’re going to go bonkers over the next two


    4. gigglingfattie says:

      …I don’t likes it…maybe I just won’t read the next two? Do I really want to know this about you? I’m not too sure


    5. I don’t know… I can warn you before I publish them if you’d like


    6. gigglingfattie says:

      lol no it’s ok. Warnings are only for serious things like clowns


    7. Haha super serious


    8. gigglingfattie says:

      Only the most super serious


    9. Ha oh but of course

      Liked by 1 person

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