Captain’s Log Two Zero

I guess Twin Tea (listen, it was either Two Zero or Twin Tea, and I’m honestly still not sure if I made the right choice… Ok, I’m like 90% sure that I chose the wrong title here) is as good of a time as any to come up with some sort of content warning for these Captain’s Logs. So, as thoughts come to mind that are “good” enough to share but not good enough to dedicate more than a sentence or two to I come to the Log and jot them down. Sometimes I return to the Log multiple times in one day, other times it goes unused for weeks at a time. Some thoughts are contained in just one sentence, others extend into multiple paragraphs. Bottom line, it’s a string of consciousness, tread lightly.

I am so incredibly torn right now. How am I supposed to protect Noodle from this? Nothing feels right. I love how after you report someone on Tinder they still give you the option to like the profile, like “just in case…” We’ve known each other for less than 12 hours and after explaining that I’d like to take things slow and maybe wait a bit before using pet names I get asked if she’s “my girl” and told that she deleted her account on the app. Well, I’ve officially found a new level of crazy, and I keep giving her what she wants.

Why is it so hard to be the bigger person and walk away from text arguments? The cost of the flight that I booked a month ago just dropped 16%, I want my money back. I mean, I’m not entirely sure why I’m still going on this trip, so any amount of money is too much at this point, but since I already paid… And it’s nonrefundable… Give me that 16%! I just watched a guy pee while walking, in broad daylight, in public.

What is going on here!? Just had a dream that I received a promotion. I was subsequently late that same day. At work, but late signing in. Nice dream, keeping my ego in check. Last night I dreamt that I had a beer, weird.

Actually, I’ve been remembering more and more of my dreams lately. Very weird. I usually wake up drawing a blank. I really hope that part of this whole toilet paper shortage is because people are overbuying with the intent to share with a neighbor as oppose to hoarding. Imagine if when we fell under a national emergency or state of emergency companies were forced to increase their pay rates (with some sort of hazard pay) and freeze sales prices. I really hope that this isn’t a sign that she’s back in that horrible relationship.

My mustache is coming in rather nicely in this lockdown. I don’t want to tell you how to live your life or anything, but now does seem like a pretty good time to invest in Brawndo. I wish I could just call the grocery store and ask if they have what I need. We’re not talking, so she decides to break the silence, by asking me to sign up and pay for her weight loss program? Just watched a guy stop and think about it before proceeding to throw his engine oil bottle into the recycling bin. I feel like getting ghosted has become my new thing, I’m not a fan.

I wonder how many “not interested in hookups” got deleted from online dating profiles during this coronavirus outbreak. This is like the third time this month where I’ve been unsure whether I was being hit on or if they were just being nice. It’s getting harder and harder to resist writing a story/poem about this pandemic. Karma is really out here, living its best life. Did Lisa Ann get hotter when she stopped doing porn? This app is messing up, AGAIN!

It’s weird when people assume that my blog is on Instagram. Anyone else find themselves holding their breath around other people? Does that even make a difference? I wonder how many of those protesters were offended by Kap taking a knee. I really hate feeling the need to justify my writing, but now that I’m not seeing anyone I REALLY feel the need to justify some of this. My Mom just asked me what I want in a woman and my reply was basically “my ex”, this hurts.

So, Pizzadelphiafest is a thing, I need to explore this. As I was leaving for work I passed by an acquaintance on the way to my car who made it a point to tell me that she saw me running shirtless the other day. I guess I don’t look half bad. The more I see and hear about people not taking this seriously the more I realize just how serious it is. Anyone else get upset when your significant other sends the internet sexier pictures than they send you? I will never understand why people leave their car running AND blasting music when they go into a store.

Who is listening, and more importantly, who is impressed by this!? I wonder what the political race would look like if campaign contributions were capped at $20. It’s funny how no one seems interested until you’re unavailable. I may or may not need some help putting this book together. I back this 100%, but I’ve gotta ask, is his nickname Maud or are we all just adding insult to injury and butchering his name? I think I’ll add a disclaimer to the top of this one, it’s about time.


Until next time, stay safe!

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