Captain’s Log Nein Teen

I wonder how differently we would look at mental health if we originally labelled “disorders” as “conditions”. Noodle has he flu. Seriously, nothing makes you feel more helpless than when your kid is sick. Is it wrong to get souvenirs online, of places that you visited prior to starting your souvenir collection? I feel like I should have just stayed in the bathroom, I HATE being sick. I understand that the store is gone, but can I still be a Toys R Us kid?

I don’t wanna grow up. Andy did it! And things are definitely getting awkward around here. How the hell is that story so popular? It must be listed on some other website or something. Maybe we should get Florida to vote now so that they’re done counting by election day.

Did the McDonald’s menu get smaller? And what happened to mcgriddles!? Yeah, this isn’t going the way I had hoped. I’m not sure how much of this is actually my doing. Now that I think about it, all holidays should follow the same schedule, instead of being a certain date. According to a co-worker, the earth is going to go through some drastic changes this year.

Please, tell me more. This unrequited love shit is for the birds. Either love me or leave me, I can’t stand being strung along. This Lucas guy is giving her a lot of attention. Oh, look at that, she’s giving a lot of attention back. Fun.

And instead of responding to me she posts something about moving to California… I guess we’re done? Hopefully this makes her happy. And now, after she stopped responding to me she starts liking my posts on Instagram? What the hell is this? That was a pretty crazy dream.

I’m 34 years old and I just found out that Goofy was a dog. My mind is blown, I’m going back to bed. And now we’re texting again? Ok, this is officially weird. Just broke down in my bathroom. Ah, mourning, the gift that keeps on giving.

What’s going on in the minds of the people who cough in public without covering their mouths? I REALLY need to start using some of the pictures that I’ve contacted artist and models about. I wonder how long it’ll take me to fill’em with the venom and eliminate them. What the hell am I supposed to do with this plane ticket? Guess I need to look into hotels/Airbnbs. Should I stay in Denver instead?
Until next time, share the love.

Tasha, thanks again for letting me use this picture!