Run – Alphonso Francis White

Remember when you were younger, and as you laid in bed after a busy day you could feel the adrenaline coursing through your body? Like your body was in motion, recreating your movements from earlier? I imagine that it’s similar to the phantom limb feeling that amputees sometimes have. That feeling. That… Feeling… I remember it was just that, a feeling. This on the other hand, was much much more.

See, I ran my last long run a little more than a week ago. And because it’s my first marathon, I followed the plan to a T. Speaking of T, this “taper” crap really is for the birds. I’ve never been more on edge. And ever since I started to taper my sleep has been off. I don’t know what I expected coming in to this, and oddly enough I kind of think that all of this might be completely normal.

After that long run I showered, ate, and slept, just as I did with every other training run. Just as I did after every race… But now there are these weird phantom runs. At least, that’s what they were at first, I think. I would partially wake up in the middle of the night with that post-busy day adrenaline feeling. Didn’t even bother to open my eyes. I just sat there, well laid there, and let it wash over me. Honestly, it felt amazing.

I could almost hear the cheers, feel the wind, even my breathing changed. Each night this week, the dreams would get more vivid, more intense. I’d wake up, out of breath, sweating, with sore calves, and an itchy throat. Tired… Exhausted even.

This morning, race day morning, I thought that I had overslept. I spent the entire night dreaming about the race. Picturing myself pinning the bib to my clothes, hopping on the shuttle, stretching in the chute. I wiggled my way into the corral ahead of where I was supposed to be, like every overzealous runner does, and off I went.

I’ve never felt so fast before. Not even in previous dreams, I had to take a moment to let it sink in. I thought about how athletes would claim to have focused so intensely on the upcoming event that they would fall asleep thinking about it, and would somehow do better than they had expected.

I started to drift. Going back and forth between the realization that this dream could possibly make me even faster and the fear that my alarm would be going off soon… Like, now… Or, now… Or……. Now? Damn, did I miss my alarm? Do I really want to risk waking up fully and being unable to fall asleep again if I have more time to spare? The pitter patter of my feet on the ground sound like they are in sync with the ticking of my clock.

Ok. Let’s regroup, I gave myself extra time this morning. It can’t be that bad if I did oversleep. Oh, and I know this turn, just one more until the finish line straight away. Yea, I’ll finish this, then I’ll wake up. No need to rush… I hope…. Wow, the finish looks so surreal. And the roar of the crowd, woah. I can barely even hear the alarm… The alarm… The…. Stop. Focus on this dream. So vivid! If tomorrow goes anything like this I’m going to PR.

Check out that clock. 1:57:49… If the race goes ANYTHING like this dream I might end up breaking a world fucking record… 1:58:00… I’m going to do it!… 1:58:04… Just a couple more yards to the finish line… Then, I can wake up… 1:58:41… Just a couple more strides before the ribbon… Eyes closed, not yet… 1:59:37… Just a few more steps and I can…

Just…

A few…

More…

I woke up… I… I think I woke up… 1:59:54… On the other side of the finish line… I woke up… Stopping the clock at 1:59:54… In a race that I’ll never forget… A race that I’ll never remember… A race that I slept walk, er ran through…

I woke up, after sleeping through the greatest race that anyone has ever run…