Sober

At this point, I spend more of my day high than sober. High. Not “getting high”, or “coming down from a high”. High. If you were to include those two, I’d say that I probably spend a good five to six hours a day sober. I sleep through most, if not all, if that time. Well, I used to anyway. Now I’m going through withdrawals.
One random day last week, I had a brain fart, and forgot to smoke when I woke up. Getting ready for work, driving, and sitting down at my desk, feeling what I guess others would call “normal”. It was surreal. And here’s a little added bonus, I have never been more productive. Not just at work. I mean, I have never been more productive, ever… At anything. I don’t think… No. I cannot recall another time in my life where I have worked more efficiently and gotten more done. But, that was short lived.
A coworker came up to me and said that we had to skip lunch for a Safety Meeting. With each drag I could feel the high taking more and more of my body. Reclaiming it’s territory. It’s not even a fight, the way I thought it would be, Sober just let’s me go. Leaving this emptiness that I feel now. Is “sober” the new “high”?
I don’t remember having this feeling before. I need to “forget” to get high again sometime. Hopefully soon. Just thinking about it is giving me a tingle. But, how can I hide this from my friends? They won’t understand. I get funny faces if I turn down a hit when I’m stoned beyond belief; I can only imagine how they would react to me not wanting to indulge in the first place.
I’m not really considering a lifestyle change, and I’m certainly not going to try to convert anyone or anything. I just… I just want to have that feeling again. I want to feel, I mean really feel.

Alison, thank you for letting me use this awesome meme that you made!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Hehe can you imagine if the whole world was like that? Campaigns in high schools with “just say yes!” On the posters?

    Like

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