Tell Me “NO”, But Let Me

So… Recently I’ve discovered a newer blog, which has a new podcast associated with it, and I listened to the first episode. It was about this whole Dick Pic social media/dating app phenomenon. I’m not going to go too much into what was said in the podcast (because you should click this link, listen to it for yourself, and then come back here), but I will say that it did trigger a bunch of dating and “dating” related thoughts and questions in my mind. The most prominent one, Consent.

There’s a little bit more to the backstory of this post than just that but yeah… I’ll just leave it there… Anyhoo… What the hell are we doing to each other!? I mean honestly. Is it that we don’t fully understand what consent is or that we don’t care? I mean, obviously it’s both. Right? But one has to outweigh the other. Right?

You should be able to feel out the situation (pun both very much intended and unintended… Don’t judge me). But really, I get that you can’t necessarily feel out the situation. You’re in the middle of whatever it is that you’re in the middle of, brain going a zillion miles a minute while also being at a complete standstill. I get it. But, here’s where maturity comes into play.

Thank you for letting me use this picture!

I’m not talking about sex here. I mean, I am, talking about sex here, and so much more. Remember that whole “treat others how you want to be treated” thing? Throw that crap out the window. Treat others how they want to be treated. I’m a guy, I get it, there have been very few unsolicited nudes women have sent me that I was not appreciative of. But, one man’s treasure is another ones trash (or something like that). As a general rules, if they want to see it they’ll ask. Trust me, even the shy ones, if they want it bad enough they’ll ask. Not hint, ask, directly.

The same goes for catcalling. Well, maybe not “the same”. I’ve actually never been a fan of getting catcalled. I always just took it as a bad joke and assumed that if they were serious they would treat me and the situation seriously.

I have written, erased, and rewritten this post a couple of times over. Trying to figure out how specific or how vague I should be and I honestly can not make my mind up. I want to get personal, but I don’t at the same time. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad idea, but before I head down that rabbit hole let me close out this post.

Consent is when you know that the other person is a willing participant. Not when you think the other person is willing. Not when you feel like they should be willing. Not when you would or wouldn’t be willing if you were in their position. Again, it is when you KNOW that the other party is a willing participant. And if at any point in time you don’t know, you should take this as a no.

~

Until next time, “no” means “know” … And “no”.

Thank you so much, for letting me use this picture!

P. S. On a brighter note, once again I had multiple artists allow me to use their work for my post, thank you guys!

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