Captain’s Log Dirt Teen

I need a female friend who has zero interest in having sex with me to kind of review my erotica before I post it. Actually, I need a female friend who has zero interest in having sex with me for a lot of things. Seems like lately it’s been “we’re friends, for now, as long as I can hold on to the hope that one day we’ll be more than just friends”. That’s basically been the theme for all of 2018. Just spent an hour on the phone talking to someone with an accent; I’m pretty sure that she could curse me out and still make it sound sexy. Also, I’m pretty sure that my last Log made me sound a little more depressed than I actually am.

I really do over use the word “really”, one of you could have pointed this out to me before now… I’m not going to stop using it, but at least I’m aware of it now. With the current climate in mind, and more importantly my reaction to said climate, I think I’m going to have to edit (and possibly delete) some of my older posts… I may or may not eventually transition into an anonymous blog. Oh, also, I’m like 99% sure that I’m going to delete my Facebook at the end of this year. I really need to return this book.

Just blew up on my sister. And I have a cut on the inside of my nose. I’m never going to finish this list. I still can’t get over the fact that I have hair on my ears… Long hair… What kind of crap is this?

So… I’m pretty sure that I’m about to go on another deployment, a non-combat deployment. And my legs fell asleep while I going to the bathroom. Anyone else wish that they could go back to their original sex partners and prove that they aren’t THAT bad? No? That’s just me?

I get gas at work almost every night, I bet if take the survey on the receipts I’d have a pretty good chance of winning. Does anyone else get excited when they use their phone app to pay for things at the store? Like, yes I did put the money on this app, but it still feels like I’m paying with Monopoly money. I should probably cut back on my use of ellipsis (ellipsis’s*? Ellipsises*? Ellipsisies*? Screw it), I won’t, but I probably should. Anyone else alternate clipping their thumbnails and fingernails? So that you always have one for possible nose pickins?

No? Just me? Anyone else get anxious in the moments leading up to a scheduled post publishing? POF just suggested that I view the profile of the ex who ghosted me, I did, and it now says something about “no married men”. Um… Did she stumble upon my blog, see the fictional post I made where I refer to having a wife, and think that I was really married?

Kinda makes sense, she stopped talking to me around the time that I posted it, hmm. And I’ve started looking at my blog stats again, I hate stats. Is there a way to hide them? Just got a “you know how I said that I would be able to pay you back at the end of the month? Well, I actually have the money now, I’ll send it to you tonight, thank you so much” phone call… What!?

Seriously, when is the last time that you let someone borrow money and they paid you back early? Merry Mutha Suckin Christmas to me! I might start shaving my head this year, I wonder if I can pull off the bald look. I randomly have a craving for cupcakes… I’mma get some cupcakes. And AGAIN, I have a fucking pimple in my damn ear, what is this shit crap!? Just got in from a booty call, opened the dating app to clear a notification, and who do I find online?

Touché. Oh what a horrible kisser. Funny odd how “acceptable” it is for men to talk about their sexual experiences in real life and for women to do it online but not the other way around. There’s going to be a lot of “and a needle for an STD”s when this is all said and done. I really should stress the point it it was JUST the one, JUST the one time, and that I had it for JUST about a week… Just saying.

With the speed that storms move it’s odd that you don’t see them starting in the distance more often. It’s weird that I can’t say that I grew out of watching cartoons and playing videogames, because SO many adults are still watching cartoons and playing videogames. I really never know what to send when people ask to see some of my writing. I mean, what are you into? Ordering a pizza before I shower so it’s ready for pickup as soon as I’m done, I’m on a whole new level. Just switched back to my old theme, get it together WordPress.

I’ve unblocked everyone from my social media. Not that I want to start any conversations, I just don’t want to keep that negative energy. Is that weird? So apparently there’s a pretty “interesting” conspiracy theory that Hitler survived the war. I need to get this out there… Mariah Carey has a horrible voice, and always has…

That is all. Gotta love when racism randomly comes by for the holidays. If it’s open 24/7 I expect it to be open on all holidays. One of these days I’m going to accidentally send a nude picture to somebody, again. If you’re not talking about American Football put a U in it! The workout this morning was in the rain, and we had a mudslide, then I drove home.

I just realized (an hour later, after showering and changing) as I got out of my car that my seat is still wet. I’m pretty sure it looks like I pooped myself. I wonder if anyone will realize that I finished this on the 2nd and backdated it to the first…


Until next time, Happy New Year!?

P.S. I give you my post mud workout poopy pants. It should go without saying, but they look worse in person.

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