Want some more real talk? I’ve got a kind of dilemma on my hands. I’mma need some help with this one. I’m going to be revisiting a couple of my past relationships in this one, so to avoid getting too emotional I’m going to write this more or less by turning a bunch of bullet points into paragraphs. It’s going to be dry, but it should still be a good read… I think.
You know those people that always seem to ‘randomly’ reach out to you whenever they become newly single? Breed is one of mine, who very recently decided to get back in touch with me. Yesterday she told me that her ex fiance (we’ll call him… Richard… No, nevermind, I’m saving that for someone else… Steve, we’ll call him Steve) had left his memory card in her phone, she went through it, and found out that he was cheating on her. This isn’t the first time that she’s found out that he was cheating.
The first time was last year during one of my workations. On my way back she reached out to me, my curiosity lead me to Facebook to see what he looked like (it feels really weird to admit that… And even weirder to acknowledge the awkwardness of it but still deciding to leave it in this post… Oh well, it stays), and guess what, we have a mutual friend! Al. We had already been broken up at this time but we were still in contact, basically for the occasional hook-up.
During one of our conversations I asked Al about Steve and she said that they had met on tinder a while back, became Facebook friends, but it was very short lived and nothing ever came of it. This I believed, up until she ended it with one of her classic tells, “do you believe me?” I’m not sure which part or how much of that story was a lie, but it was most certainly not the whole truth. I thought about bringing this up to Breed to see if we could connect the dots, but by this time her and Steve had already kissed and made up.
Fast forward to now. Breed finds out that Steve didn’t stop cheating on her back then, and all I can think is ‘I wonder if Al was one of them’. I mean, I’m almost positive that she was (at some point), at least via text, but I wonder if it was ever more. I want to tell Breed what I know. I want to know what she knows. I want to know if this guy should be added on to the list of people who somehow meant more than my plea to not be cheated on again. But, bouncing down this rabbit hole will surely raddle more cages than just my own.
Al is in what I assume to be a fairly happy marriage, with a baby on the way. Breed is still getting over her break-up, and using everything she can to pick fights with Steve (in a weird subconscious way of seeing if he still cares and if they can possibly work it out… Or, at least that’s what she did when her and I didn’t work out. Why do women do this!? I hate this crap… Sorry, not important). Steve, from what I’ve gathered, is just as willing to lie in order to save face as Al is. So even if I bring it up and we get an answer, that doesn’t mean that we’re getting the truth.
I don’t know why I care so much. But I’m also not sure how to let it go. Or even if this is something that I really should be letting go. What do you think?
Until next time, if you’re aware of your ignorance is it still bliss?
P.S. Semi-unrelated, because of our history, Al and I had a rule that we wouldn’t see each other after she’s been drinking. During this time, when we were strictly seeing each other for sex, she asked me to come over… After she had been drinking. I refused, and a couple of hours later I came across this on Instagram, from that very same day… Now, I don’t know whether this is her or not… But the shoe does fit.
8 Comments Add yours
I’ve always believed that people will show you who they really are, and don’t expect them to change. Sure that might be a little harsh but it’s true. They will always show you what type of person they really are. If they are a liar or a cheater or someone who just doesn’t care – that’s what they are going to be with you. If this was me, and my friend knew all this information I’d want to know. It seems like she already knows that Steve is a poop canoe and that’s not going to change but she’s looking for a sign that it just might. It’s not going to. He’s shown her who he really is with her. Maybe hearing all this from you will help her to actually realize it and move on to someone who isn’t going to be like that with her?
Honestly, my motivation here is more selfish than it is about helping her, but that’s an added bonus… I’m just not sure how this will go. If I bring it up, she talks to Steve, and he contacts Al I’m not even sure how that will turn out… And I’m not sure that either Steve or Al will be willing to tell the truth about whatever happened or didn’t happen
Maybe leave Al out of it then. Don’t give names. Granny always says that when a person shows you their true character to believe them. I’m sure it’s not going to be hard for your friend to believe your truth about Steve if you don’t mention Al’s name.
She already has confirmation that he was cheating on her, there’s really nothing for me to say that doesn’t involve Al
Idk then. Do what your conscience will allow I guess lol and if it’s selfish, so be it.
Haha this is going to take some thought
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Definitely will! But you’ll make the right choice
Haha let’s hope
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