Captain’s Log Eleven

It’s so awkward when someone casually drops the name of someone else in conversation. Do I know this person? Am I supposed to know this person? Should I put some sort of effort into remembering this name? Are you saying the name to try to get me to ask about this person? Omg, two days in a row of actual conversation!?

I’m loving this! Oh, this is getting a little too real. I hate when people say something crazy and look at you expecting for you to agree with them. Well, there goes that. I’m still not ok with the way Infinity War ended… Or the hype around Black Panther…

Or the lack of cowbell in Deadpool… Or, the way that Infinity War ended! I really need to catch up with my pen pal. Flash just couldn’t let the season end without a cliffhanger. I’m aggressively shaking my fist at whoever’s decision this was. Grr.

When did taking your shoes off at the train station become a thing? My Mom and Grandmom had a full blown conversation in our group message, at 4am this morning. The one time in God knows how long I decide to go on Facebook and what do I find? We’re planning a reunion! Just slept through my alarm and missed my workout, I need a better system. Then again, trying to get up and workout after a LONG day, running on just 3 hours of sleep probably isn’t the smartest plan in the world.

Just went on a date with a girl who has the EXACT same mannerisms as one of my close friends… One of my close guy friends. If she wasn’t married I’d swear that she was hitting on me… I don’t even know her husband and I already hate him. I would say that I’m pretty vanilla, with an extreme curiosity for BDSM, and this girl is WAY too vanilla for me. I just reread this, it sounds like all of that was talking about the same person, dear God that would be weird.

What is with these random girls messaging me on Instagram? And why can none of them hold a conversation? We’re sexting and all I can think is “your bed probably smells like cigarettes”. I feel like chewing with your mouth closed is a lost art. Single, and ready to match on a dating site and never actually speak to you. Ladies, any takers?

Remember how old you thought 30 was when you were a kid? Thank God that you don’t feel that way now that you’re actually in your 30’s. I just got free fries from McDonald’s, it’s going to be a good day. Frak just followed me on Instagram!? I feel like he thinks that I’m a bigger deal than I am… I’mma go with it.

~

Until next time, this guy and “shoes”.

P.S. Seriously. This is the second time in just as many weeks that I’ve seen someone take their shoe(s) off at the train station. Is this a thing?