Captain’s Log Ten

I’m not sure what the fuck (I’ve gotta tone down the cursing in this thing) heck just happened here, but I’m not ok with it. Tired Alphonso does not do well in these situations, whoosah, whoofuckingsah. Is it really THAT weird that I feel more comfortable using the bathroom when I’m naked? As I close the window of the porn that I’m watching because the guy’s manhood is awkwardly small I can’t help but think, “maybe the line between what’s hetero and homosexual isn’t as clear cut as what we try to make it seem”. Maybe I’m putting more into this relationship than I should be? I’m fighting to stop myself from giving more attention, I might be looking at this all wrong.

Maybe this is some passive aggressive hint. Rode my bike to and from the trail for my run today, I don’t think I’m getting off of this floor until I have to get ready for work. You know, if Kik really gave a shit crap about the bots on it, they would make it so that blocked users can’t enter (or even see for that matter) chat groups that their blockers are in. I feel like if I’m not talking about sex we are barely talking. Which, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE sexting… But I guess I thought there would be more…

Kinda makes the sexting a little unappealing. It’s funny how much more suspicious we all are of the 13th floor in a hotel (to the point where a TON of hotels skip the number all together) than the number 666. Hmm. New relationships are not rehabilitation centers for your failed ones, work that shit stuff out prior to jumping into a new relationship. So, romper dude just sat down next to me, took his smelly shoe off, and proceeded to scratch his feet for 5 minutes.

Quick story: I typically always have my headphones in (whether there is anything playing or not) just so that I can ignore people. On my way home from my run I got catcalled as I walked by a group of (might I say ‘fairly attractive’) women. I started to nod my head to the non-existent music that I was listening to while staring down at my phone, the catcalls turned into insults as I kept walking. All I could think was “damn, they’re loud”… And they were loud, very loud, because I didn’t have my headphones in.

I want to fix these flashback typos so bad! Whoosah. Wait, so she’s jealous? Because I did basically exactly what she did, but didn’t let it go nearly as far as she did… And now we aren’t talking about it. I just compared albacore tuna in theatre to prison cigarettes, pretty accurate.

And… There’s a lady talking to herself like 15 feet away from me… Loudly… Aggressively… Never a dull moment. I hate that after you accidentally make eye contact with someone you end up doing it again and again and again thinking “am I making this weird or are they?”

Just finished wiping, stood up, and before I could grab my pants I had to sit back down for round two… Pretty sure I’m getting sick… I just realized how many bathroom stories I have in these logs, kinda makes me feel bad that you guys have to read this crap (oh yes I did!), kinda. Why haven’t Ozzy Man and Snoop Dogg teamed up to do reviews yet!? Why is this not a thing? I’m starting to become an emoji user.

I can feel my balls clawing their way back into my body. Some people just need a soundboard… Unless we are close I hate being a soundboard. So I guess she’s just not interested? I don’t know. I have a confession; I text the word “bad” when I really mean “badly”, often, with no remorse.

It’s like we’re stuck, just having small talk. I’ve never felt like someone was so interested in me and uninterested at the same time. This November Project workout should be interesting. 3 hours of sleep, still sore from the last one… At least I’ll get some hugs. Ok…
Workout number two down… I’m starting to get hangry. Spoiler Alert: Hellboy does NOT make an appearance in The Shape Of Water. So, my sister just spent last night and half of today in the hospital and I open my phone to find a rather confrontational text… Holy hell. This isn‘t going to go the way that you think it is.


Until next time, don’t go chasing waterfalls.

P.S. No, that’s not my hand, and this is not my picture. But this picture is just as random and perplexing as everything else in this post, so it fits.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. I just found this in my spam folder lol what’s the no for?


  2. gigglingfattie says:

    Mwahaha!! Emoji user!


    1. Lol say what?


    2. gigglingfattie says:



    3. Haha this is a sign that I need to use less emojis


    4. gigglingfattie says:

      Nnnnooooooo!!! Don’t use less emojis! I love the emojis


    5. It is decided


    6. gigglingfattie says:



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