Captain’s Log Ate

I just realized that they put season 13 of Supernatural on Netflix! Why was I not informed of this!? Anyhoo, I’m going to lock myself away for a couple of days now to binge watch. I’ve listened to this new Will Smith freestyle like 37 times over the last 12 hours. He’s still got it! I found this meme a while back, but I can’t stop thinking about this re-farting farts thing.

Like, I have no come back for that. I have officially lost every man vs woman argument that I’ll ever have. I love how quickly a great day turns into what the fuck did I just walk into? I am really tired of being a punching bag. I’m not even kidding, if I hear “I was drinking” as an excuse I am going to lose it. What the hell did I just walk into? This weekend started off so good. I really need something good right now. It REALLY sucks that my blog is where I go to vent and I feel like lately I’ve had a lot that I’m not able to put out here. I just pulled a freaking mound of wax out of my ear, I need to spend the rest of the day in the shower now. It still feels weird to get thanked for my service on memorial day. I get the thought behind it, it just means something different to me.

I can’t shake that feeling. This is a pretty ironic ghosting. It’s odd to see someone pulling themselves away while claiming to have been pushed. I’ve been falling asleep midtext for the past two nights. Oh yeah, this was definitely all me. Well, there’s no use in trying to talk through that one, that sucks.

Alphonso, this is the part where you blindly take responsibility and avoid the explanations or pointing out the fault(s) of the other party. You’ve been here before, you can do this. I feel like I’m the bad guy for not pretending as well as you did. Speak of the devil! A PSR just called me out of nowhere. Yes sir, I would like you to help me do in two days what I’ve been trying to do for 4 months.

I just realized that everyone showered this weekend… Except for the guy who was wearing jeans and long sleeves the entire time… The guy that I’m carpooling with. So, my Superbowl champion Philadelphia Eagles were just uninvited from their White House visit… Because less than 10 players planned to attend. My legs just fell asleep while I was on the toilet, both of them.

And yet another roadblock in this transfer, I really hate my unit. There are soooo many typos that I’m finding in these flashback posts. Is it weird that my work wife just bought me dinner? Is it weird that I just referred to her as “my work wife”? I really hate internet drama. I love (loathe) how all of my family’s conversations somehow make their way into our group message.

Mom and grandma are planning to meet for lunch, why am I getting woken up with messages about your lunch? I love this “oh you’re writing a book, can I get a copy” crap. Yep, definitely forgot to put deodorant on today. I just remembered, one of my erotic stories actually is inspired by someone. I can’t believe that I forgot that. But, when I showed it to her she was disgusted by it so I guess it makes sense.

OMG, one day (soon) someone is going to publish a book writin lyk dis, n ppl wil rly by itz. What the hell is creepypasta? We live in a world where I almost feel like a nerd for not playing videogames. This Log is going to require a lot more editing than the others. I hate when a story idea pops into my head when I’m at work and can’t fully explore it. How do I make this inception-like story not remind people of the movie Inception?

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Until next time, don’t push.

P.S. Stole this picture from Instagram… I… I um… I will just let the meme speak for itself…