Originally posted 01 April 2017
- I tried to call you this morning. I woke up in tears, shaking, in the fetal position, and covered in sweat.
- Reality sets in and now I’m mourning. That dream was so real, we were… We were… Ah, I’m already starting to forget.
- Moments like this I used to give you a call. You weren’t one to tell me how to live my life, but you always told me exactly what I needed to hear.
- Side note: I really haven’t been awake for long at all. Currently, I’m cooking breakfast, and contemplating cracking open a beer.
- I remember your hug was magical. Well into my 20’s I’d collapse in your arms and feel a kid again. Your deep embrace never failed, it chased away all of my pain.
- And your “advice”, so practical. Instead of telling me, you’d guide me, with questions that were thought provoking. I loved it at times, but I’m not gonna lie, sometimes this drove me insane.
- Last time we spoke, we caught up a little and made plans to get together.
- And just like that, our plans went from “the Saturday after next” to “never”.
- The first of April, wait, isn’t that April fools day? C’mon Dad, this is taking things too far. When my phone rang again I was fully prepared to yell at you. I honestly thought “this is a bad joke”, I was pissed, this is a HORRIBLE trick.
- I had to wait to get ride to the hospital that day. I sat by the door with my keys in hand, if I would have driven I surely would have wrecked my car. Somehow, I talked the doctor in to letting me see you…. I can’t keep writing about this, reliving this memory is starting to make me sick.
- This “poem” doesn’t really rhyme. But aside from Poe you weren’t really a poem sort of man. And I’m sorry that this one flows like a shallow iced over creek.
- I had to try to get it all out this time. I thought about writing more, but I don’t think that I can. I could have waited until later but then I might be too weak.
- I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that you had to go. We had so much more to say. Even more to do.
- Ok, this was kinda long winded, I know. So, I guess there’s just one thing left for me to say… Dad, no words can accurately express how much I miss and love you.