~Cry Like A Man

Originally posted 30 Sep 2017

So (I don’t know why I start so many of my posts with “so”, I have to make a mental note about doing it) the last time that I cried was actually my first night in my new place after I had officially moved in. Even though I had officially moved in I was still in the process of moving my furniture, so the only bed that I had was my son’s mattress on the floor of his room.

This was just a couple of days after the breakup with my ex. As I lay there, in my son’s bed, thinking mostly about the breakup that I was going through I had the urge to call my dad. My dead dad. I picked up the phone and searched for his number, just figuring that maybe I might still be able to hear his voice on his voicemail or something and quickly realized that he wasn’t in my phone anymore, I had deleted the number. I broke down. All of this was completely irrational, I know. His girlfriend had changed his voicemail about a month or two after he passed (four years ago), and I had memorized his number, I didn’t really need to look it up.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Before this, I had always thought that saying was just that, a “saying”. I honestly did not think that it was physically possible to cry yourself to sleep, but there I was. Balling my eyes out until I randomly woke up hours later in a pool of tears. Wow, that story took a lot longer than I thought it would. This post isn’t about that night or anything that lead up to that night. It’s just that before this, I thought that it was a sign of weakness to cry over a relationship, especially one that was already over.

Which brings me to the real point of this post. It IS in fact ok for men to cry. Ok, that story didn’t segue into this point on paper as well as it did in my head, sorry. Anyhoo, I do not agree with the notion that men should never cry. I do however believe that men should cry sparingly. I know, it’s 2017 and we are all so much more open minded and taking strides to break down the barriers between the sexes and blah blah blah. Look, this is just my opinion. You can take it or leave it.

I can only remember seeing my father cry on two occasions, they were both funerals. The last time that I cried in public was also at a funeral. Not that it makes him or I any more manly, but on the flip side, I do believe that crying at the drop of a hat does in fact make you a little less, um, manly. Maybe it’s a generational thing, maybe just the way my parents raised me, or maybe it’s some deep rooted misogynistic “me Tarzan, you Jane” thing, I don’t know.

I know it sounds judgy, and yes, if you’re an overly emotional man I am judging you, I just don’t see the benefits. I mean, I’ve never felt better after crying, could be just me. Alright, this thing has gotten a little off track. And I just hit my limit, I’m going to stop babbling.

Until next time, dry those eyes.

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P.S. Nope, I’m not crying in this picture, although, maybe I should have been. This is a story for another time, but I will tell you that that is my friend Trey’s dog.

12 Comments Add yours

  1. That dog looks like it’s so ashamed of you – what did you do?!

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    1. Haha if anything I’m ashamed to be in a picture with the dog

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    2. Don’t be ashamed of that cute little baby!! He doesn’t deserve that.

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  2. ❤️ my heart goes out to you

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  3. Jad says:

    It’s funny because I start a lot of sentences with So too, I try not to but turns out it is the word that fits best so I just leave it there!!
    Sorry about your Dad, I lost my Dad close to 4 years ago too, kinda sucks!!
    I agree with you kinda sorta, I agree there is a time and a place for crying and just crying at the drop of a hat kind of makes you seem a little week so this is where the kinda sorta comes in, I think the same should be said for females too, time and a place to cry… I do however reserve the right to continue to cry over soppy movies… Empathy tears are quite okay 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going to climb down off of my high horse and onto my hypocritical donkey for a second here haha you just gave me a lightbulb. For guys, I don’t agree with empathetic tears, I kinda feel like those are usually the times when you’re supposed to “be strong” or at least appear to be. However, I have to be hypocritical and say that I ALWAYS tear up when watching the Rocky series… Don’t tell anyone.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Jad says:

      Your secret is safe with me 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. anne leueen says:

    My father never cried. Ever! And when I was small if I cried he told me to leave the room. That is the height of British frozen emotion if you ask me. My husband will shed a sentimental tear over a few things and certainly would cry for true sorrow. I commend him for that and I think he is a manly man despite the fact that he can cry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yea, I never understood the “never cry” thing, but I also can’t stand crybabies… I’m like your husband, certain situations call for it, not every situation

      Liked by 1 person

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