~Cry Like A Man

Originally posted 30 Sep 2017

So (I don’t know why I start so many of my posts with “so”, I have to make a mental note about doing it) the last time that I cried was actually my first night in my new place after I had officially moved in. Even though I had officially moved in I was still in the process of moving my furniture, so the only bed that I had was my son’s mattress on the floor of his room.

This was just a couple of days after the breakup with my ex. As I lay there, in my son’s bed, thinking mostly about the breakup that I was going through I had the urge to call my dad. My dead dad. I picked up the phone and searched for his number, just figuring that maybe I might still be able to hear his voice on his voicemail or something and quickly realized that he wasn’t in my phone anymore, I had deleted the number. I broke down. All of this was completely irrational, I know. His girlfriend had changed his voicemail about a month or two after he passed (four years ago), and I had memorized his number, I didn’t really need to look it up.

I cried myself to sleep that night. Before this, I had always thought that saying was just that, a “saying”. I honestly did not think that it was physically possible to cry yourself to sleep, but there I was. Balling my eyes out until I randomly woke up hours later in a pool of tears. Wow, that story took a lot longer than I thought it would. This post isn’t about that night or anything that lead up to that night. It’s just that before this, I thought that it was a sign of weakness to cry over a relationship, especially one that was already over.

Which brings me to the real point of this post. It IS in fact ok for men to cry. Ok, that story didn’t segue into this point on paper as well as it did in my head, sorry. Anyhoo, I do not agree with the notion that men should never cry. I do however believe that men should cry sparingly. I know, it’s 2017 and we are all so much more open minded and taking strides to break down the barriers between the sexes and blah blah blah. Look, this is just my opinion. You can take it or leave it.

I can only remember seeing my father cry on two occasions, they were both funerals. The last time that I cried in public was also at a funeral. Not that it makes him or I any more manly, but on the flip side, I do believe that crying at the drop of a hat does in fact make you a little less, um, manly. Maybe it’s a generational thing, maybe just the way my parents raised me, or maybe it’s some deep rooted misogynistic “me Tarzan, you Jane” thing, I don’t know.

I know it sounds judgy, and yes, if you’re an overly emotional man I am judging you, I just don’t see the benefits. I mean, I’ve never felt better after crying, could be just me. Alright, this thing has gotten a little off track. And I just hit my limit, I’m going to stop babbling.

Until next time, dry those eyes.

P.S. Nope, I’m not crying in this picture, although, maybe I should have been. This is a story for another time, but I will tell you that that is my friend Trey’s dog.