Captain’s Log Four Loko

I completely forgot to start a new log… I’m losing it. Well, my gun control post bombed, kind of expected. I hate blog groups, I really do… But… I also love blog groups…

Why can’t things just be simple!? So, here’s an interesting development, Al is engaged… To be married… And we were just together in November, or October, I’m pretty sure it was November. Either way, what the hell? Um…

Good for them, I guess. Oh, just to be clear, because I KNOW some idiot is going to try and twist my words… I am in no way “anti-gun”, I am “anti-innocent lives lost to gun violence”. Tip touched the porcelain, again. Forever unclean. I’ve been missing so many posts, I need to cut back on the blogs that I follow.

Ok, definitely went a little overboard and unfollowed blogs that I wanted to keep. I hope I can find them again. I really want to do another short story collaboration, like I did in Hot Potato, if you’re reading this and want to join in please let me know. Every time someone puts a “woke up like this” picture on social media I want to comment “go back to sleep”. Just picked up a new work car for my site… I wonder how long it’ll take before someone messes it up.

I’m putting the over/under at 2 weeks, and I’m taking the under. The guy at Dunkin Donuts just lectured me on how to properly order my coffee, and I didn’t understand a single word that he said. Oh well. And these ladies next to me are having a photoshoot in the middle of the Wawa parking lot. The freaks come out at night… Wednesday night to be exact. I just became so consumed with getting my sister out of my place that I lost sight of why I took her in in the first place.

I’ve gotta refocus. I mean, I still want her out, but she’s not ready. This Is How We Do It just came on the radio, I turned it up and started to sing… Without missing a beat Noodle sings “pick your nose and chew it” during the chorus… I laughed till I cried! This guy.

Are we all just going to conveniently forget that time when Kobe said that he wasn’t from Philly? Just got accepted into my new unit, just gotta get this CFT out of the way and it’s a done deal. Noodle just scored two goals in his hockey tryout… He’s kind of a big deal. Um… She’s married now!!!???

Like, married married? What in the actual fuck world? How the hell heck does she deserve to find love (or whatever the hell heck that is… Lust… I’mma assume it’s lust) before I do!? And they had to have been together while her and I were together.

What in the actual fuck world!? Seriously? Hmm… I wonder what the driving force behind this is. Pregnancy? Wealth?

Filling the emptiness with “love” instead (I really hope that it’s “instead of” and not “in addition to”) of booze? This is seriously reason number one as to why I’m single. I’ve lost all faith in “love”. Thank you for that one Al. Oh, and congrats! Annddd my sister put the toilet paper on the roll backwards.

THIS is what is wrong with millennials! Yes, there is a right way to put the TP on the roll, how is this even a debate!? I just realized that I have nothing to submit to this writing contest. Like, nothing. Not a thing. This’ll be fun. Ya know, writing a first person erotic story from the woman’s point of view isn’t as easy as I originally thought it would be.

I might need some help with this one… How do I ask someone for help with that? “Um, hey, I don’t wanna sound like a creep or anything, but can you please describe your orgasm for me?” Yea, no.

~

Until next time, do your toilet paper proud.

P.S. Yup, that’s my knee in this picture, and even it is disgusted with this disrespectful display. And come to think of it, I put a new roll on here two days ago… How do these girls go through it so fast!?