I’m A Blogger!

Full disclosure: I did not publish ALL of the drafts that I had. Honestly, I’m not ready to let some of that stuff out of the bag, not just yet. I skipped a couple Flashback Fridays and I started a few new drafts while I was gone (so much for a “break”). But, I’m currently sitting at less than ten posts in the draft section… Single digits! It’s a win! So anyhoo…

Happy Bloggiversary, to me! Whoop whoop! With every other milestone I’ve made it a point to thank you guys and to offer you the opportunity to promote your own blog by posting in my comment section… Not this one… Not today… It’s time for me to get a bit selfish here. First off, if you’ve followed my blog you’ll know that I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I’m able to legitimately call myself “a blogger”. Well, I am! And it feels pretty good (nerdy, and creepy) to say.

Now I know, you are tired of reading blogs about blogging just as much as I am. But that is exactly what this post is going to be… Well, with a twist. You know the anniversary posts where bloggers tell you how they managed to become so successful? Here I am going to go ahead and do just the opposite. So, how did I make it an entire year while “growing” such a relatively unsuccessful blog (in comparison to the ones that I follow)? I’ll tell ya how! Follow my plan and you can do it too!

~Don’t check your stats!

Ever. Just wait for the milestone notifications to tell you when you’ve accomplished something worth looking into.

~Do not learn about SEO.

And if you do, forget everything that you learned and just freestyle it.

~Do NOT follow people just because they follow you.

Make them earn that follow!

~Make empty promises.

Tell your readers that you are going to talk about something at a later date, and then leave them hanging.

~Do not promote your blog.

Join blog sharing groups, and lurk, do not engage.

~Don’t blog about a specific topic.

Keep those readers guessing!

~Publish unfinished/unedited posts.

No explanation needed, either they get it or they don’t.

~Don’t use proper grammar.

The harder it is to read the more of an adventure it becomes.

~Makes lists using odd numbers.

It’s your job to look the OCD bear in the eye, and poke it.

~Only accept negative feedback.

Take it down a couple of pegs.

~Undervalue all of your “accomplishments”.

So you “blog”… But, can your blog change a tire?

Trust me, it works! Follow my plan and very soon you will say “it’s easy mmmkay”. Now, just a heads up, the blog is going to be a bit different for the foreseeable future. I’m going to publish one new post a week, and republish one post each week. I’m going to keep the flashback Friday thing going, and mark them with a “~” in the title. The new posts will be published on Mondays… Yep, just another Manic Monday (I came up with that all on my own while some random song from The Bangles played in the background… I’m a genius). You may or may not get the occasional mid-week post, no promises.

If you’ve kept up with my blog over the past month you’ve seen a bunch of Unfinished Posts. You see, I get really excited about certain posts and then lose interest before I finish them. Sometimes I have the idea of throwing a bunch of YouTube links into one and just sort of overwhelm myself. Others, I just don’t feel like going through the hassle of editing. And then there’s the following list, of blog ideas that I’ve come up with but never even started a post about (or started but they ended up in the trash). The ideas come to me and quickly dissipate after I add them to the list. Maybe (just maybe, don’t get too excited) if you guys show interest in one of these it’ll motivate me to start/finish the post. Ok, ramble over, here’s the list:

Blog Ideas

Fleet Week

-My type

-The nod

-Bl239

-Bl249

-Bl12

-Bl16

-Birds and bees

-I don’t like sweets

-Naked

-Interracial dating

-Spirit animal

-Al not meeting my friends/family

-Movies

-First dates

-Bedroom exploits

-More than… God?

-Relationships

-Iraq

-Afghanistan

-My ex hitting me during an argument

-Dad caught me drinking

-Momma k caught me

-Hoarder in Rutledge

-Manhands

-My sister moving in

-Kissing

-Why I don’t watch basketball

-Cunnelingus

-Al, full story

-dads advice

– Going to Hell

-My “number”

Fiction:

-American Flag story

-Lonely girl

-Dear John

-Menage a trois

-Fetish

-Vampires

-Birds and bees

-Cannibal

-Head coach down

~

Until next time, Terrible Twos here I come!

P.S. I’m still in “break” mode. So I’m not going to go searching for a picture for this post. I’m kind of hoping that WordPress will send me one of those milestone notifications that I can screenshot and use as the feature image for this post. So, hopefully you’re reading this and it’s completely meaningless, and a bit confusing. If not, well, I’m not sure what to say… Sorry?

P.P.S. I lied. As I went to post this I remembered the Darkness meme that someone sent me… I’m not sure why, but I feel like somehow it fits. Ok, that’s another lie… It doesn’t fit… But, you have to admit that it’s pretty funny! I’ll probably go back and change it later… Well, maybe…..

29 Comments Add yours

  1. If you were that good you wouldn’t be spamming… Go home, you’re drunk

    Like

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    Like

    1. Haha thank you! I can’t wait to check out your blog

      Like

  3. Jad says:

    What the heck is SEO?? Wait, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know πŸ˜›

    Like

    1. Ha no, you don’t want to know

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Woohoo congratulations!!! I had a few sassy things to say but forgot them by the time I reached the bottom of your post. I was interrupted by one of the house workers here haha. Can’t try to focus my half awake mind on her Jamaican accent and hold sassy thoughts. But it’s awesome you’ve made it to a year!! πŸ˜€πŸŽ‰

    Like

    1. Boooo, I want the sassy comment haha this one isn’t bad though. Thanks!… Even though now all I can think is “what else was she going to say”.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Haha! Maybe that’s what I should do now – start a half sassy comment and then just leave you hanging 😏😏😏

      I can’t remember lol which bugs me now! But some days I just can’t concentrate on the thick island accents. Especially if I haven’t had coffee lol. Next time I’ll stick a “no coffee no talkie” sign on my head.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Lol I love that, get me a sign too

      Liked by 1 person

    4. It actually doesn’t apply most of the time. If I wake up naturally or with an alarm I’m basically a ray of sunshine right away. If I get woken up by others, then there is a problem haha. But I think I saw that on a coffee mug? That should work too right? I’ll make you one πŸ˜›

      Like

    5. Lol stop stealing coffee mug quotes

      Liked by 1 person

    6. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want 😏😏

      Like

    7. Lol now you’re stealing my line

      Like

    8. You had no copyright after it 😝

      Like

    9. I feel like this can turn into another “you’ll be hearing from my lawyers” moment and we both know how well that turned out last time lol

      Like

    10. Yea… You were all talk haha

      Like

    11. Oooo I see how it is!!! *take out her hoops*

      …totslly true though…

      Like

    12. Lol don’t make me get out of this chair

      Like

    13. HAHA! Wouldn’t want that 😝 cos I literally just sat down after 2.5 hours of ironing. The marshmallow needs a rest

      Like

    14. Aw poor marshmallow… Let’s postpone this fight lol

      Liked by 1 person

    15. Lol you’re too kind.

      Like

    16. Nah, just lazy… And comfortable in my chair

      Like

    17. Lol well I now have a 50lb dog chilling on my legs so I cant get up anyways

      Like

    18. Yea yea, any excuse will do

      Like

    19. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Michael says:

    ha funny…looking forward to some of those posts πŸ™‚ Onwards and upwards!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yea, thanks!

      Like

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