Instead of talking about a specific love of mine I’m going to focus on the moment (or “moments”) and reason (or “reasons”) that I have fallen in love. Of course, falling in love for me has been full of the cliche butterflies in the stomach, first person I think about when I wake up/ last before I go to sleep, want to spend every waking moment together crap. But It has also come with so much more. The thing that I love most about love, is the randomness of it all. I had a “love at first sight” moment with a woman that stopped me dead in my tracks when I was in the midst of a manwhoring run. I said “I love you” to a woman at the same exact time that she said it to me (and then I said “jinx” and ruined the moment). Love is so powerful, it can be uplifting, blinding, empowering, entrapping, good, bad, and all of the above and more at the same time.
No one ever really talks about the fact that coming to the realization that you are in love with someone is an unsteady feeling. Usually, it feels like it’s too early which kind of causes you to second guess your entire relationship. Is THIS really the person that you want to be with? But you guys have only been dating for however many (insert less than substantial semi inflated number) days, weeks, months, or years (PLEASE tell me that it has been more than a couple of days and less than a couple of years) and to be honest, there is still so much about this person that you don’t know .
For me, I feel like this moment is a little different. Usually I end up realizing that I am in love when I notice that I’m not bothered by something that would otherwise make my head spin. I fell in love with a woman solely because she loved me; I loved a woman that chewed with her mouth open; I’ve loved a woman who embarrassed me in front of my parents; Hell, I even fell in love with a woman who used me for sex. In EVERY instance the same thought crossed my mind, “if this was any other girl I’d leave and never look back”. And in every instance, my decision to stay accompanied the realization that I was in love (or lust disguised as love… Fine line). It wasn’t that I was putting up with this kind of behavior, it was that at the time that behavior genuinely didn’t phase me.
Wait, let me back up for a second. I realize that chewing with your mouth open might not be a big deal to some of you. That’s probably due to the fact that you also chew with your mouth open, you uncivilized and slack jawed open mouth chewer you. CLOSE. YOUR. MOUTH. No one wants to hear you eat and/or see the food in your mouth. Ah I’ve gotten off track, and now I’m pissed. Just like the Borg comment, you’ve done it again. This blog is over. Good day.
And by “good day” what I actually mean is that “I hope that the CDC comes out and says that the new leading cause of Hyperoxia (google it) is the oxidation (google that too, ya heathen) of food that you muddled (just keep google up in the background, idgit) with your open mouth and as a result all of the lip smackers have to be quarantined on a planet with lower oxygen levels so that you can no longer gross out, annoy, and breed with the rest of us”.
Until next time… Good Day.
P.S. This is Rachel Starr, one of my favorite porn stars (don’t act like you don’t have a favorite). About a week after an ex and I broke up Rachel came out to a strip club in Philly. I picked up one of my best friends, dragged him into the club where we spent MAYBE 15 minutes, I got this pic, I spent about $50, and we left. So no, I am not in love with the woman in this picture. Nor was I ever. But it was $50 for two cover charges, 2 warm beers, and 2 pictures that were taken with my cellphone (both were of her and I, but the flash was off for the first one), you best believe I’m getting my money’s worth out of this pic!